Life Is A Computer Game
by Corvus corone
Summary: The Sims 2 and Gakuen Alice crossover challenge!fic. Mikan, Koko and Natsume are eating in Burger Queen when they are rudely interrupted by a whole horde of strange characters ...


_A/N: For Katou Yumi, aka Pam-chan. All the non-Gakuen Alice characters (except for the Mary-Sue of Koko's memory ...) are characters from The Sims 2._

**Life Is A Computer Game**

XXX

"How did you know that I wanted to eat in this place?" squealed Mikan happily. She looked around the Burger Queen diner and continued, "It's perfect! What're you having?"

"You were thinking about burgers all day," said Koko. "Um ... I haven't decided yet."

"That's okay! I think I'll have the Super Chicken Fried Burger With Sweet Salsa," said Mikan. She sat back and looked at Koko expectantly.

"I'll just have the same then," Koko said. Hearing Mikan saying, "I want the Super Chicken Fried Burger With Sweet Salsa! I really, really want the Super Chicken Fried Burger With Sweet Salsa!" in her head constantly for the past five minutes had given him no other choice, really.

The burgers came soon enough and they were just about to start eating when Mikan said, "Oh yeah! I invited Natsume along as well; he said he'll come at about seven."

Koko froze, his burger halfway to his mouth. "What?!"

"Just like I said! I asked Natsume if he wanted to eat out in Burger Queen with me, and he said yeah, so he's gonna come soon!"

"Did you, you know, tell him that your new _boyfriend_ was going to be here as well?" said Koko, his permanent smile falling just a fraction as he read the answer in her mind.

"... no? Will he mind?"

"I think so," Koko said. "He's not completely over you."

"Oh," said Mikan. She sat back in her chair. "Well, if I explain nicely to him, I'm sure he won't mind about you." She looked at her watch. "He's gonna be here any minute!" she said in a panic.

Koko shifted around nervously in his chair. Then his grin returned to normal as he thought of something. "Hey, if Natsume's going to be here, and I'm not really his friend anymore, then I have nothing to hold me back from annoying him!"

"I don't get it ..." said Mikan, her brow furrowing. "Why would you want to annoy Natsume?"

"It's fun," Koko said, shrugging.

Mikan thought for a few seconds. Koko followed her thoughts from "well Koko finds so many things fun" to "maybe smiling so much makes everything fun for him!" to "I think I should smile more!" to "no, I still don't see why annoying Natsume is fun..."

"No, I still don't see why annoying Natsume is fun," Mikan said. "Anyways, I can see him at the door right now! NATSUME!!" she shouted. She stood up and waved.

Before Koko could absorb this information, Natsume had pulled up a chair and had sat down next to him. "Mikan, you didn't tell me that Koko was going to be here," Natsume said.

"I know, I totally forgot," Miksan replied. She smiled apologetically at both of them. Koko felt the urge to bang his head on the table.

Natsume frowned. "Why's he here, anyway?"

"We're going out," said Koko before Mikan could say anything.

"You're _what_?" said Natsume.

"I said, we're going out."

"What the hell? Is this some kind of sick joke?"

"Nope!" Koko grinned even wider. "Ask her yourself!"

Natsume looked at Mikan, who nodded.

"What the fuck did you see in an idiot like him?" growled Natsume, a small flame bursting into life on Koko's uneaten burger.

"Stop it! Don't use your Alice on him!" shouted Mikan. She put out the flame and continued, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, but I'm telling the truth when I say that I forget completely! Just because I said no to you doesn't mean that I can't go out with who I want!"

Koko shrugged again, this time directed towards Natsume. He had just opened his mouth to speak when a whirl of activity from the table next to theirs interrupted him. Mikan and Natsume both looked around to see a pretty young woman storm out of the restaurant shouting something like, "I can't believe I ever married someone like _you!_" complete with a rather offensive description of exactly what "someone like you" was like.

The man at the table who had just been eating with the woman looked over at Koko's table. "Sorry about that," he said to the stunned Alices as the waiters fussed around him and wiped off most of the food that the woman had tipped over him.

"That's alright," said Mikan, beaming. "D'you want to sit with us while they dry your Fillet o' Fishy Fish Burger?"

"That would be wonderful," said the man at the same time as Koko and Natsume said, "Mikan, shut up!"

But it was too late, for the man had already shifted his chair to join them. Koko and Natsume were left to glare at each other - Koko's glare being slightly les malevolent thanks to the grin - and think angry thoughts of "This is all your fault!" Of course, Natsume's insults were more effective given the fact that Koko could actually hear them, unlike Koko's ones.

"It's nice to meet you, Mikan," the man was saying. "My name is Don Lothario." His voice had a rather unusual accent to it, as if Japanese was not his first language. That was probably to be expected as his looks appeared more Caucasion than oriental, but neither Natsume nor Koko could decipher exactly what the accent was. It wasn't English or American, in any case.

"That's such a cool name!" Mikan excitedly said. "Um ... you're not from Japan, are you?"

"No, I came here on holiday with my wife-" he gestured towards the door, "-and a few friends." He smiled at Mikan in a charming sort of way.

"What was your wife shouting about then?" said Natsume, scowling at the man. Koko nodded in agreement and put his arm protectively around Mikan. This man seemed strange - his thoughts just didn't feel the same as most other people's, though Koko couldn't really explain why. Even still, his thoughts were mostly about Mikan's head covered with a lot of little red hearts, and Koko knew that _that_ was definately not a good sign.

"Nothing important, really," Don Lothario said with another reassuring smile at Mikan. "I was just having a friendly conversation with one of our friends in the hotel hot tub, and she mistook it for some sort of affair."

Koko, looking into the man's mind, could see a rather vivid image of the so-called "friendly conversation" and immediately wished he had not. "Mikan, don't trust him!" he said in an undertone. Natsume found himself agreeing with Koko for once in his life. He had also noticed the strange atmosphere about the man - a feeling that he wasn't quite real, almost as if he was an illusion of a person. Or something. Natsume shook his head to clear up his thoughts.

Mikan glanced at Koko with a worred expression. "What did you say?"

"Nothing," he said. Natsume rolled his eyes.

At that moment, two girls entered the restaurant. That wouldn't have been such a dramatic event if they hadn't immediately spotted Don Lothario and rushed over to greet him - thus stopping Natsume from saying anything particularly rude to him or Mikan.

"These two are Dina and Nina, the friends I came to Japan with," Don Lothario explained to Mikan. He put his hand on hers. "And this is Mikan and her two ... friends," he said to the girls, who politely greeted her while looking at her hand, the one that was covered by Don Lothario's, with narrowed eyes.

"Who are these people?" Natsume said to Koko quietly. "I don't trust that guy with Mikan at all ..."

"Yeah, same," said Koko, watching Don Lothario's thoughts of "friendly conversations" with Dina and Nina and subsequently wishing that he had some sort of Mind Soap to clean out his now very disturbed mind.

"We should get rid of them," said Natsume, letting Koko read The Plan in his head. He felt the same strange unreal vibe from the two impossibly pretty girls as well as Don Lothario.

However, The Plan was not to be put into action, for just then another woman entered Burger Queen and walked over to the group. Koko and Natsume were suitably distracted.

"What's wrong?" said Mikan when she noticed that Don Lothario had stopped breathing and was staring at a point directly behind her head. She turned around to see the new entant, and said, "Hello! I'm Mikan Sakura!"

"Hello," said the stranger in a misty voice, her eyes not quite focused on Mikan. "I'm Bella Goth. I believe you were talking to Don Lothario?"

Dina and Nina both looked at the stranger and gaped. "Lothario told us you were dead!" they said at the same time. "Although my late husband - your brother, I think - did tell me that your body was never found ..." said Dina, flicking a lock of blonde hair behind her shoulder.

Koko and Natsume looked at each other, and got up. "We're moving tables," Natsume said to Mikan. "Call us when you're finished with these guys."

Mikan beamed at them and said, "Okay then!"

"You're not really planning to leave her with those weirdos, are you?" muttered Natsume. "Although I guess if you were, it _would_ show what a terrible boyfriend you are, which I was sort of hoping for ..."

"Shut up," said Koko. "I know _you're _not going to let her out of your sight."

Meanwhile, Dina and Nina had excused themselves and were talking in animated voices to each other as they left the diner. Mikan was left to witness Don Lothario and Bella's tearful reunion.

"You're ... married? To my _daughter_? I've been wandering around this country for twenty-five years after those aliens dropped me off at Osaka and now I find that you're spreading your womanising ways to my _daughter?!_" Bella's voice was rapidly rising in pitch.

"No, no, calm down! I swear to you that I have not cheated on my dear Cassandra," said Lothario. Mikan patted Bella's hand in a comforting manner.

"Then what were those two girls doing with you?! And why are you having _dinner_," she spat out the word in a tone of disgust, "with this girl - as nice as she is?"

"Nothing - we are just friends!" replied Lothario. "Mikan, I am sorry for all this fuss."

"No no, it's fine!" said Mikan, smiling. She might have spoken too soon, for right then a small family walked into Burger Queen and appeared to recognise Don Lothario.

"Seriously, how quick does he goes through them?" said Natsume to Koko a few tables away. "Is that, what, another three of his girlfriends?"

Koko quickly sifted through the thoughts of the family - a Chinese-looking woman and two daughters, twins by the looks of it, with flaming red hair - who had just walked over and greeted the Don. "No, I think they're all just friends. Apparently ... apparently the mother's ex-husband cheated on her with another one of Don Lothario's girlfriends who happened to be their housemaid. I think. Oh God, this is confusing. Where do all these weird people _come_ from?" Koko held his head in his hands.

"Did I just hear someone say that that woman's name is Mary-Sue?" said Natsume, who was using his trained Mission Spy techniques to eavesdrop.

Koko paled, though his smile remained constant. "Like, like Mary-Sue as in those hordes of girls who keep trying to enter Alice Academy and have flying wolfinas for pets that Naru-chan-sensei calls 'Mary-Sue's?"

"Uh-huh," nodded Natsume.

"Oh great," said Koko. "We'd better get ready to pull Mikan out of there."

There was an almightly "BANG!" as the door to Burger Queen flew open yet again. The dark-haired woman with glasses - Don Lothario's wife - who had stormed out some time ago had come back and was again shouting. But this time it was not in anger.

"Mother? Is it true? You're back?" she was saying to the woman known as Bella Goth. Mikan was staring at them, open-mouthed.

"Yep, Bella is definitely Cassie's mum. She's not lying this time," said Koko to Natsume as he read through a few more thoughts.

"This feels like a stupid soap opera," groaned Natsume. "At least I know all the spoilers thanks to you, I suppose. So what's Mary-Sue and her two kids got to do with all of this?"

Koko shuddered at that name. He would never forget that time when a Mary-Sue had broken through the guard defences and had seduced him, Natsume and Persona all at the same time. Hopefully this wasn't the same one - this Mary-Sue had black hair pulled up into a ponytail while the one in his memory had had pink hair with russet hightlights that cascaded down to her knees.

"No idea," he said out loud.

Natsume didn't hear him, though. Mary-Sue's red-headed daughters had just got into an extremely violent fight, and had managed to raise a good-sized dust cloud on the restaurant floor.

"I'm getting Mikan out," he said to Koko and got up. Lighting a small fire in Don Lothario's hair to distract him (and also because it felt good), he dragged Mikan away from the furious battle in front of her and pushed her into a chair next to Koko.

"Hey! I was going to do that," complained Koko.

"Hey! I didn't need saving!" Mikan said to Natsume. "What're you guys' problems with my new friends, anyway?"

"The fact that you've only known them for five minutes and you've already got yourself dragged into a family drama that feels like my sister's Sims 2 game," said Natsume.

Koko looked over at where Mikan had been sitting. It looked as if the gothic-styled twin had won the fight, although Koko could see that the other one was getting ready to slap her. "Don't you think that there's something weird about those guys?" he said to Mikan.

"What?"

"When I read their thoughts, they don't seem to think in words ... it's like they have a list of pictures in their brains that's guiding them in what to do next. I dunno, it just feels really strange ..."

"Oh, don't be silly! Don Lothario has been really nice to me," said Mikan. She put an arm around Koko's waist.

Koko blinked, his thoughts momentarily distracted by that arm action, as well as Natsume thinking, "GET YOUR ARM OFF HIM!" and Mikan's usual random babbling in her head.

"Well still, I don't like you getting too close to him," Koko said to Mikan. He kissed her on the cheek and waited for Natsume's reaction. It came in the form of a sudden fire burning on Koko's napkin.

"Natsume! Don't do that to my boyfriend!" Mikan said, and put out the Alice fire. Koko secretly rejoiced in Mikan saying, "my boyfriend" and mentally stuck out his tongue at Natsume, before realising that Natsume couldn't see his thoughts.

"Yeah, Natsume, don't _do_ that to my girlfriend's boyfriend!" Koko said aloud.

"Shut up," Natsume snarled. He wondered whether it would be too degrading to just beat up Koko here and now, seeing as he wasn't a strange girl who was probably going to be preyed on by that idiotic Lothario guy.

Koko laughed and listened to the comforting sounds of Mikan talking in her head. As usual, her thoughts were filled with random things like, "I like Koko's hair today!" and "I'm hungry ..." and "Why is Natsume so mad?" and "I hope Angela's okay." Koko could only assume that Angela was one of the twins he had seen earlier.

"Anyway," said Natsume, calming down, "I get a bad feeling from those guys as well, Mikan, and I don't think they're _normal_ people."

"Oh, it's fine! They all seem really cool, don't you think?"

"No," Natsume and Koko said.

Seriously, that Don Lothario and his not-so-subtle flirting was really going to annoy Koko for some time. "Mikan, stop thinking about him! You know he was just trying to get into your pants," he said.

"I wasn't thinking about him!" said Mikan indignantly. "Well, okay, I was a bit! But I'm not like in _love_ with him or anything!"

"Huh," said Koko. "You're still thinking about him!"

"Then don't listen!" shouted Mikan. Natsume smirked - he decided that he rather liked seeing Mikan argue with her happy little boyfriend.

"I can't help it! You just think too loudly!"

"I can't help thinking loudly! What kind of a sentence is that, anyway?!"

"Fine!" Koko suddenly pulled Mikan towards him and kissed her on the lips.

Well, that was one way of getting her to stop thinking.

"Eurgh," Natsume said, and smashed a wine glass. He got up, shook his now painfully cut hand and said, "That's it; I'm not going to watch any more," in a tone of barely suppressed anger. Turning to find the exit, he was met with the sight of Dina and Nina - who had just come back to see the fight between Angela and her sister - shouting at each other. Presumably they had just found out that Don Lothario had been sleeping with both of them at the same time ...

And speak of the devil, there was that idiot coming towards them.

"Mikan, I'm going now," he said.

Mikan stopped kissing Koko and looked up. "Oh! You're leaving already?"

"Yes, but I hope that we can meet again. Here is my phone number and email,"f he said with a suggestive smile and handing her a napkin with a few things written on it.

"Wow, thank you!" said Mikan, taking it. "I'll email you soon, and then you can have my address because I don't have a pen with me right now ..."

"That would be great," said Lothario. He kissed her hand, and walked out of Burger Queen.

"He. Just. Kissed. You," said Koko.

"On the hand!" said Mikan defensively. "I'm sure he didn't mean anything by it!"

Unfortunately, it looked like most of the people agreed with Koko's point of view. Soon enough, the room was filled with girls in dust clouds, slaps, waiters getting punched as they tried to break apart the furious fighters, and shouts of, "He told me he was only cheating with ME!" and "I thought he loved me! I'm his WIFE, for God's sake!"

"Come on, Mikan, we should go," said Koko, pulling Mikan away. He covered her eyes as he saw a sight that looked rather disturbingly like Mary-Sue stabbing Cassandra.

"Don't you think we should help?"

"No," he said very firmly. "Honestly, I think they're beyond help."

"But what about Natsume?"

"Uh, I'm sure he'll be fine," Koko lied.

"I hope he's not still mad at me ..."

"He's probably alright. As long as we never see those people again, I think we'll all be fine ..."

XXX

_A/N: The challenge was:  
**KokoxMikan**  
**Natsume is very, very jealous**  
**Include Cardcaptor Sakura or Naruto or The Sims 2 or The Simpsons** - the only one I'm comfortable with writing is The Sims 2, sorry. I was thinking about including some cameo Natsume/Sakura from CCS, but then I decided that I had no idea how to do that.  
**Don Lothario kisses Mikan's hand, Dina and Nina make an appearance, Mary-Sue stabs Cassandra Goth, Bella Goth turns up, Angela and Lilith fight.  
Mikan babbles so much that Koko is forced to kiss her to make her shut up**_

_And if you think that the Sims 2 story up there is complicated, it is seriously OTHING compared to the one I made myself. (Over 200 characters, 14 generations, with the inclusion of such things as vampires, witches, mpreg, incest, and a man called Caroline-Isabella.)_


End file.
